Lauren. 17. Redeemed Daughter of the King. Quirky. Fun. Coffee. Guitar. Sports. God's Divine Nature. Fishing. Camping. Hoodies. Flowers. Ice cream.
But the only thing that truly defines me is Jesus Christ.
I don’t know why. I hope I don’t have a panic attack.
I guess im just gonna give this church one more try..
Cause of vbs stuff. I shouldent be crying about going to a church. Im so fustrated. Im not growing in Christ more there. I shouldent be dreading going to church. This is not how its suppoes to be.
honestly never felt so lost :P
I’m going to rise in this. I’m going to show you. I’m not gonna let you look down on me, and feel little.
A lot went down today, like spirituality. I read to chapter 8 of crazy love.
Instead of living in this life of lukewarm faith, shame, and feeling so pitiful, I’ve realized that i’ve had it all wrong.
Lukewarm, is not for people in Christ. Lukewarm is for those “Christians.” We’ve all been there though.
But I am saved by Grace through Faith in Christ. I am not called to be lukewarm. I am called to be free! Free in the newness of life. Free in Christ! No longer am I to be living in my old ways, because they are dead. That is not who I am. I am made white and clothed by Christ’s blood.
So my response, to living in the newness of life has to be either all of my life laid down for Christ, or none. All or nothing. This means I have to get uncomfortable. It’s going to get hard; but that’s what the Christian life is, getting out of your comfort zone and suffering for Christ.
Then my mind asked, “How do I live in this newness of life?”
I need to crave a relationship with God. It needs to mean more to me than anything on this earth. I need to be willing to lay it all down on the line for Christ. I need to make myself nothing.
However, If I do this, and I don’t have love, then it’s wasted. I need to love people. I need to replace 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 with my name. Lauren is patient, Lauren is kind.. ect. I am here to love, because that’s my command. Selflessly, gently, and with my whole heart.
I hate public speaking, but my church is having a youth group night, where we run the service. I felt as God laid on my heart to speak at it. I’ve never done anything like this ever. I can’t cop out, and I wont.
Pray that I can process my thinking better, and that God would move. I would really love some feedback!
Im so stuck in my relationship with Christ. I just tried to pray and it consisted in like nothing. This is not what a relationship with Christ is itended to be like. This is lukewarm bull crap and I am so pathetic.
I know there is Grace in Christ, but like, this is not what i want the rest of my life to be like! This is not what serving God looks like.
Someone give me some hard truth. None of the surgar coated nonsense.
I make Christ look aweful.
My family pointed out how closed minded I am…
I think i need to step away from church for awile.
I need your prayers and such.
My relationship with God has been rough. real rough.
I want to go back.
When God and I were a team. and we were walking together. and I was so in love with Him.
I know He is here with me. I know this.
But my heart is hardened. so yeah. makes things difficult.
On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem:
Fear not, O Zion;
let not your hands grow weak.
The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
Zephaniah 3:16-17. wudddup.